Anxiety is Something We Do, Not Something We Are.
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
Sydney Banks
Coaching for Change
I have been listening to people tell me about their struggles, fears, insecurities, insights, hopes, and wishes for as long as I can remember, first, as a friend and sister, later, as a wife, mother, teacher, and psychotherapist.
The one thing that has become clear to me in all those conversations is that we're all the same. Our minds churn out anxiety-laden repetitive stories. They love to replay the past and predict the future. They have strong opinions that feel solid and meaningful but are constantly changing and contradicting themselves. They relate everything back to the person they inhabit. Our mind's world revolves around us.
When we think our mind's stories mean something solid about who we are, we suffer. When we see how our mind works, it becomes easier to not take it so personally or seriously, and we suffer far less.
The habitual stories, complaints, fears, and criticisms move to the background, like the neighbour’s dog barking.
One of the phrases I find myself saying most often is: “That's just what minds do." Minds compare and worry and project and judge. They label and categorize and fear and complain. All eight billion of them. Different details, same process.
When we see that the machine in our head is just doing what the machine in a head does, everything changes. Habits and anxiety begin to fall away. Insecurities and self-judgments look less real. Problems and limitations appear far less solid.
As we wake up to the psychological, repetitive nature of the mind, we also get to wake up to who and what is there beyond it. We get to know who we are by knowing what we're not. My dream job is to be present as people wake up to the reality of who they are.
My Approach
My approach is based on the understanding that you, like each one of the other 8 billion people on the planet, have innate mental health. You are not lacking or broken.
You are well as you are, in everything you may or may not be feeling, right this minute.
The only reason you may not feel full of peace, confidence and clarity is because you mistake what you think, feel, and do for who you are.
When you come to see that what you think and feel are safe and constantly in montion, constantly changing, you will see that it makes more sense to look in the direction of what is real and never changing: who you are.
The Three Pillars of my Approach to Coaching
My approach is based on the belief that:
All experience is healthy and helpful when seen in context. It should be happening.
Experience is always changing on its own. My interventions seek to help you understand and allow it to happen
Suffering does not come from experience itself, it comes from identifying with experience. Experience does not need to change in order for suffering to lessen.
My approach is present-focused and looks to the root of the issue, not the elimination of symptoms. Book a free consultation and begin your journey to becoming the person you were meant to be and living the life you were meant to live.